The Authentic Self: True Success for Spiritual Leaders

“A man asked Lord Buddha, ‘I want happiness.’ Lord Buddha said, ‘First remove ‘I’ that’s ego. Then remove ‘want’ that’s desire. See now you are left only with ‘happiness.’ Happiness in the path.”  ~Buddha

Our purpose in life is to think as God thinks—what is often called, wisdom. Why? Because our happiness is experienced in wisdom. Because in wisdom we are aligned with who we truly are. 

God loves all of us as one. He doesn’t love anyone more than anyone else. No one in Gods eyes is special. In terms of your power, in terms of your talent, all of us are special and none of us are special. Usually the word ‘special’ means something really good, but it is actually treachery of the ego for spiritual leaders.

In life, we form ‘special' relationships. Many times this means that, ‘special’ relationships require the other person be a certain way in order for us to be OK; the clinical term for this is called co-dependency. The truth is that being with others and being alone are both beautiful. You don’t depend on others and you don’t make them dependent on you. You relate out of love—freedom. An example of this is when a couple who separates can do so with gratitude: no misery or pain, just separate. You can let go of the drama’s that others are engaged in and it’s not a loss, it’s a birth of a higher more loving quality born of a fullness of experience. It’s the birth of unconditional love, without expectations or demands.

One of the biggest examples of how this affects us is with our career. If my career is successful, I am OK; which typically may mean that I can see me with self-respect. In reality, what makes you ok, what makes you special, what makes you important is that God created you. That’s right, you do not have to do anything to be special, you don’t have to do anything special to be incredible. What you have to do is to let go all of the barriers which your conditioning from the time you were born, has bestowed upon you: These conditions make you forget how wonderful you already are.

But we think, because the ego tells us: in this particular example, “My career will be ok.” Or regarding relationships,“If I am in that relationship, I will be somebody special.” And this has led to a marketing obsessed approach to living. Your self respect is based on how many followers you have on Facebook, or Twitter, or Snapchat. This is the opposite of living. We are living in a time when people are more concerned with marketing than with the quality of the work, or the product or meaningful relationships. 

Living has become more about how to market a product—you. With this mindset, how do you create something beautiful? If you are in a career that has to do with spirituality, you need to develop that which comes from grounding yourself in something real; like consciousness and compassion. People can feel it when you are real. It is not about whether your book was on the New York Times best seller booklist or your six figure income, or your famous spouse. These are ok, however it’s important to realize that there is no need to judge yourself by some arbitrary social standard external to your inner truth. 

Real is about the truth of your being.

If anyone should be resisting ‘egoic’ living (obsessive self centered thinking), it is people who are spiritual leaders. We need to go deep, we want to go real, and we want to relate from God. And it will be real because the Universe has a 1,000 faces of God watching you; and people see you through your own growth. The greatest gift that you can give to others is being true to you. Your relevance and seeking your own growth over time will reveal itself. 

People subconsciously know everything.

The primary job of the teacher of God is atonement; your own atonement, to seek the atonement for yourself. Your own growth will show itself. That is the greatest gift you can give to others. Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them. (Matthew 7:16)”

Today, we live in a materialistic ‘transactual’ society and not a relational society. 

Marketing is a means to the end, but it can’t be the end. These are very different ways of relating. We are all focused on the intention of whatever is occurring. For example, the meeting starts with a clear agenda, which is adhered to no matter how much creativity is lost. You have probably sat through more than one of those weekly planned meetings? Maybe as a leader you facilitated the agenda being the ruler? 

This is not holy. 

Life moves through us. You are setting yourself up to getting whatever it is you want; a specific key note speaker, or amount of money you are trying to earn for something, or something else. You are trying to make something happen, but you are definitely not flowing in the grace of God.

It sounds good but it is not holy. 

If you go into a situation completely vulnerable, with an open heart and mind, asking that only that which is of God prevail, that is holy. Loving creative thoughts can prevail; or self-centered thoughts can prevail, if you are trying to make something happen. It can’t be both. Life must move though the beauty of the present moment. That is why Jesus says, “For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say. (Luke 12:12)”

You are setting yourself up subconsciously to manipulate other people to get whatever it is that you want when you hold a rigid intention. You have an intention to have a certain amount of clients, or to raise a certain amount of money, or sell a certain amount of books. Intention is necessary to create, but it can’t be rigid, it must be flexible. That’s one reason Jesus reminds us when he was asked to teach us how to pray, “Your [God’s] kingdom come, your [God’s] will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven. (Matthew 6:10)” 

The implication is that heaven’s will and humanity’s will are not always aligned.

Also, rigidity will tempt you into being less real because you won’t want to resist or rebel against the status quo. By definition as a spiritual teacher you are going to be resisting the dogma placed out there in the world; the status quo—the thought patterns of the world (and the collective consciousness). The thought patterns which are not God’s thoughts. Remember Philippians 4 tells us to “Think on these things…which God thinks about.” Why? 

In life sometimes we are told what we need to hear by another, but we don’t necessarily want to hear it. People sometimes are going to tell us what we don’t want to hear—the truth. The people that told us what we most needed to hear, we didn’t like it at the time. Perhaps it was an assault on the belief of our ego? 

As a spiritual leader your job is not to have a marketing mentality, but to go with the flow of the spirit.

Appetite is not the genuine desire of the soul. If you are a spiritual leader, your responsibility has got to be to the living truth as you see it. Not whether or not someone wants to hear the truth at the moment. I remember when my spiritual teacher told me that he had never felt rage and couldn’t help me with it. He actually said, “I don’t understand rage. You will have to go on a journey to discover the answer for yourself.” It was a shock to me (sometimes we need shocks to wake us up). Fortunately, I kept my heart and mind open. Others from around the world, who were present also wanted to know how to heal the rage in them. (I was amazed at how many people told me they have the same question.) Sri Bhagavan’s response was brilliantly authentic. What happened was that I was given grace to be able to feel Sri Bhagavan’s pain when he answered my question; he felt my suffering (this was when I discovered that ‘understanding’ is not necessary for truth to be experienced). The paradox is that I could not feel my suffering, except through his experiencing my suffering—his compassion. Now, I know what rage is. Now, I know that he had never experienced rage. Now, I know how to transform the rage. I am eternally grateful that my spiritual leader lived from his truth.

It’s like anything in life, personal and professional, the fact that someone doesn’t like what I said doesn’t mean that I said the wrong thing. Imagine how the Pharisees felt when Jesus called them hypocrites? 

It is important to check with myself both personally and professionally. If you say the right thing, how you say it matters. Sri Bhagavan spoke from deep compassion. Sometimes my problem was not that I compromised with truth; but that I was too direct and not diplomatic enough. It’s not just what we say, it is how we say it. And sometimes no matter how diplomatic we are it is going to feel like an assault to the other. When you come from a “transactual’ mentality, what you are trying to do is make a sale. You are feeding the appetite of the moment: The appetite is the beast, it is not the genuine desire of the soul. 

Spiritual leaders need to set themselves up to the living truth as they see it. 

It doesn’t matter whether or not someone wants to hear the living truth, in the moment; this is the way of speaking to a higher call. If someone is standing in front of you, just trying to make the sale, that is not spiritual. 

If you are a spiritual teacher, you are going against the darkness in the world.

Remember, God loves you as you are; you don’t have to do anything to earn love. With God every one is special; even Obama, Clinton, Fauci, Gates, Biden, all of the technocrats…every one.

The last thing a spiritual teacher should do is be in any situation to make a sale.

All of us are teachers and all of us are students. When the student becomes the teacher: There is not the expectation that she will be perfect, but there is the expectation that she will be doing her inner work. To the spiritual leader the internal master is the teacher. You are not the generator of the wisdom; you are there to serve the divine. You are coded to be the best you that you can be in the moment. 

Step back and let the divine lead you—this is often referred to as the experience of flowing in grace.

Today, many spiritual and other leaders have arrogance and humility completely backwards. As Sri Bhagavan often says, “You are no big deal.” Remember, you don’t have to be afraid, even when you forget what you were going to say. You can be in the flow of God’s grace, living in faith and trusting that God’s grace has you covered. When you let go, God will give you what you need in the moment.

There is a Sanskrit mantra that I love because it fills my heart with compassion. When this is recited, it is a call for great blessings to flow to all of humanity. May humanity be free of separation and the pain and suffering that ensues from the lack of commUNITY.

“Hum-sau. So-hum [I am that].* Ekam.” It translates to: “I am in the divine. The divine is in me. We are one.” As Buddha said, “See now you are left only with ‘happiness.’ Happiness in the path.”

*In Vedic philosophy it means identifying oneself with the universe or ultimate reality.