Life Is a Mirror: It Reflects You

Looking into your heart mirror gives you clear vision.

Ever person who has been a parent or in another leadership role knows the futility of lecturing and trying to change the other. Still that doesn’t stop the resolve to try to control the other’s behavior or force our desired outcome(s). Why? Because we want to change what is making us uncomfortable on the inside; it is uncomfortable embracing our shadow sides. As leaders, we are often blinded by our lack of insight into our deepest selves. It often doesn't occur to us that the best way to create change is not to convince others to change, but to change ourselves. When we adjust and embrace what’s within, we become free to be empowered role models for others.

Leading by example is more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.

Let me share a personal example. My daughter has “unreasonable” expectations of me. Knowing that the outside is a reflection of the inside, I chose to observe inside me to see if there are ways in which I was holding “unreasonable” expectations? Like me, it might be enlightening when you discover that you have your own struggles with holding people to your high standards; in ways you weren't able to see until you looked. Once you see your expectations of others, witnessing this truth within your heart, not only will you have compassion for yourself, but it will also enable you to have compassion for the person that you are judging.

As you drop your expectations, your inner integrity could be an incredible inspiration to others.

So too, when we are looking for what is wrong in the world, we often project what’s inside us to the outside world. If there is something you see in the world that you would like to change, say hate; try taking responsibility for embracing the hate inside you. Instead of being angry with those you hate, seek out the roots of your own hatred and come to terms with your power to transform it. The outside world is really just a mirror reflecting us back to ourselves. When faced by challenges such as violence, can we look inside our hearts for the roots of violence? This may be the best way to lead the world toward living in a higher level of consciousness and compassion.